It’s not worth whatever happened in the past to spoil the possibility that you can reach heaven in a relationship. Have the courage to go for it 100 percent or let it go. Let go of the past and begin every day at a higher level of love. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
In 1998, I moved from urban London to leafy Surrey as a newly single mother. I went through an incredibly costly marriage and divorce – emotionally and financially. Afterwards, my friends commented on how the person I used to be had ‘disappeared.’
I moved to Surrey to lick my wounds while living in harmony with nature, honouring my body, my desires and my intuition. I was also determined to change my relationship ‘fortune.’
http://sullivanbrospainting.com/portfolio/epoxy-flooring/img_0259/ I wish I could say that resolve was all it took. (You can read more of my story at the bottom of the page – after the programme details.)
What about you?
I know you’re an amazing woman. You’re competent and responsible, with passions, ideals and ambitions.
You want to be a whole woman – a mother, a lover, a professional – while also being valued just for being you.
However, despite your ideals, you’ve found yourself in relationships that seemed promising at the start but, at some point you realised…..‘It’s happening again..…’
Maybe the man became increasingly unavailable…. or increasingly controlling…. the longer you were together.
My guess is that such a relationship has ended recently.
Whether you were dating for a short time or in a relationship that was moving towards a bigger commitment, such as marriage or moving in together, the pain of loss has hit you hard.
And in that place, it’s easy to put the blame on the man concerned.
You wonder if the real problem, as female folklore suggests, is an extreme shortage of emotionally competent men. In which case, you are probably asking whether relationships are worth your effort at all. Maybe its better to stay single? At least, then, you are in control of your own life. At least, then, no one can take you down.
However, the deeper truth is that you see other women in committed relationships with good men. (It must be possible then….)
Your friends tell you that you are a good catch. And, you’ve tried so hard.
After all, relationships take work. Right? So, one of your patterns is to make a lot of effort and keep working on them.
The effort is exhausting. The lack of true support is disheartening. The endings are painful and sometimes turn toxic.
You’ve had enough. Thankfully.
You now have one of two choices:
- Write off dating and relationships and stay single for the rest of your life (even though you deeply love companionship, intimacy and connection).
- Discover what still remains hidden to you and stop allowing old patterns (and the brain chemistry associated with them) to control your life – in devastating ways. This takes courage. But if you are ready, it’s time we talked.
Introducing Relational Mastery
If you have decided to take the path of finally figuring this out, but aren’t sure how, I’d like to introduce you to Relational Mastery. This programme contains key practical and spiritual teachings about love, sexuality, brain chemistry and masculine and feminine energy. It’s been specifically designed to address the needs and concerns of competent, mature women.
If this programme is right for you, it is an essential luxury – like sensuous, organic, dark chocolate, the gorgeous scent of essential oils, the touch of silk on your skin or the cool sand beneath your feet on a summer evening beach walk.
It’s time to restore your energies and evolve beyond your relationship wounds. It’s time to engage with the energies of attraction differently. It’s time to know how and when to let go.
There is a brief outline below of the programme’s alluring, divine, earthy, luscious, promising, and ravishing content, which will be tailored to your specific objectives and needs.
You will find this journey to be natural, nurturing, perceptive, provocative, relaxing, refreshing and renewing. You may have a few more adjectives afterwards.
Please book a free of charge exploratory conversation so that we can discuss your situation and objectives.
If it seems a good fit for us to work together, I will look forward to guiding you through this journey which:
1) brings a new level of confidence when dating and choosing
2) greater levels of peace, acceptance and enjoyment when single
more helpful hints Relational Mastery Journey
http://ashbournefarmsupplies.com/shop/agricultural-clothing-footwear/footware/border-adult-wellingtons/?add-to-cart=341 1. Your relationship to relationship.
The programme begins with the creation of a strong foundation. We’ll be reviewing your relationship stories and identifying patterns. It’s likely that there is something you have not yet realised. I have a powerful process to elicit the so-called core wound that your stories revolve around. You will also take a guided inner journey to meet your inner Beloved, a pre requisite step to creating the fertile ground for such a relationship to happen.
2. Cutting of ties
We’ll be considering anything that may be preventing you from moving forwards including past connections that feel incomplete, vicious cycles that you may find yourself in from time to time and heartbreak that remains unhealed. The time has come to move forward with kindness and forgiveness, starting with yourself. This can be challenging. But it is essential.
3. Your relationship to yourself
If you have been prioritizing the needs of others, it’s likely that parts of you remain hidden, untended and/or unheard. You may have done a lot of work on yourself. But it is now time to broaden the context, deepen understanding of who you are and how you have expressed yourself through relationships in the past. You will be introduced to exercises and practices that can improve your management of energy and re-ignite sacred shakti sexual energy.
This module contains teachings from energy traditions including taoist and tantric teachings and astrological insight (which gives context to your patterns).
4. Becoming the Queen of your realm
At this stage of the programme you will be called to step into your power, to establish the terms and conditions of your relationships and clear the points of view that may make it difficult to establish and hold boundaries. You will be introduced to teachings about power from the Feminine tantric wisdom traditions. This will enable you to create a new model for your role in relationship and clarify the values you want to uphold. It will now be easier to step away from people who are not in alignment and situations that could turn toxic.
5. Path of freedom
The outcome of the programme is a particular type of freedom that includes: the freedom of self expression, the freedom to state boundaries, the freedom to know your sexual potential, the freedom of choice, the freedom of clear seeing and freedom from binding patterns and misplaced loyalties.
Most importantly, you will know how to hold your power in relationship, which has nothing to do with entering into power battles.
You will be able to date with comfort or decide that now is not the time for dating, knowing that you can risk loving when you do meet someone special (and that you can let go more easily, when a relationship is not a good match).
What you learn will also benefit the non romantic relationships in your life.
- You will have a map to guide your ongoing unfolding into the embrace of the sensuous, deep Feminine, partnered by the deep Masculine.
- You will have ongoing practices that support the continuing expansion of your feminine power strengths.
- You will feel more complete and happy within yourself, which may change the type of partner you look for – or the type of relationship you enter into. And if you are in a partnership, you may find it changes – for the better. (You could also decide that it is time for it to end.)
- Your broader vision for relationship includes your commitment to your work and your children. You will feel more grounded, more connected and more able to stay in your own energy field.
- You will understand the basic natural laws of energy including laws of attraction and the esoteric principles of right relationship.
- You will have clarity re the path of recovery from toxic connections and will have identified what has ‘hooked you’ in the past
- Most importantly, your natural, innate sexual/creative/shakti energy will be flowing and guiding your life.
The journey features:
- Weekly coaching calls
- Daily connection during critical stages of your journey
- Practices to support your objectives
- Recorded meditations/visualisations to support the healing content
- Leading edge coaching tools plus energy practices from the Feminine tantric wisdom traditions, in which I have been training for more than 10 years.
- Other supportive, educational content
My story continued:
Resolve is not all it takes, though it is the starting point. Resolve makes a person determined to solve the puzzles of their life. However, relationship pattern puzzles cannot be solved by thinking alone.
The strength of this programme is the powerful tools it contains, which go way beyond talking.
I mentioned my challenging marriage in the first paragraph. For a long time it was hard for me to work out how I, an intelligent, professional woman, had got so attached to a controlling and undermining man that I was unable to walk away. I remember how addictive the relationship felt. Even though I sought help through therapy, I felt powerless.
As you may have read on my about page, after I left the marriage I began exploring energy traditions including, chi kung, shamanism and tantra.
I learned that many spiritual traditions had tools for working with mental/emotional reactive patterns. They re-wire the body/mind and I found them very useful. I then began using more modern, western tools that are based on the discoveries of quantum science (which validates what the older energy traditions knew).
As a result of befriending my body in this way, I was able to heal the emotional impact of the marriage and co-parent without being pulled into old traps. There was further healing to do when a subsequent relationship (shockingly) seemed to be heading in the same direction…..
Around this time, there was a lot of information appearing on the internet on the subject of narcissistic abuse (referring to a pattern of relational behaviours exhibited by people who are deficient in genuinely felt empathy, due to some type of personality disorder). Such people often seek relationships with others who compensate for their deficiencies i.e. those that are high in empathy and self responsibility and who are giving (often to the point of people pleasing) and respectful.
Once, I was able to understand the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of my relationship history, I was able to target my healing work to the specific ways in which I had been susceptible to getting ‘hooked in’ to participating in energy draining dynamics with manipulative people. At the other end of the scale I’d had relationships with men who were lovely but, limited with regard to commitment. (Different type of person, same pattern of working hard to turn dead end situations around, while sacrificing my desires for true partnership on the altar of ‘chemistry’…..)
Change of patterns does not happen overnight. The truth is that re-solving patterns, in order to make better relationship choices, as well as to learn to relate in new ways, is a committed journey that takes place over time. Therefore, this programme is a minimum 6 month journey, containing tools for ongoing use.
Do you have the resolve to change your relationship fortune and create a solid, new foundation for love?
If you would love to find the solution to your relationship pattern puzzle, let’s have a chat.